A family member died and we cannot pay for the funeral. What help is there?

We are so sorry for your loss. Grief is heavy enough without worry about money. Take this one step at a time, and let people help you.

This page is general information, not legal advice. Prices and programs change, so confirm with each office.

What should we do first?

Take a breath before you sign. You do not have to choose the first funeral home you talk to.

Call and compare prices. Use your rights in the box above, from the Federal Trade Commission's Funeral Rule. Ask each funeral home for its General Price List.

Ask for the lower cost choices.

• Direct cremation and immediate burial do not need embalming. No state law requires routine embalming for every death.
• If there is a delay before burial or cremation, some states require embalming or refrigeration. Refrigeration is usually an acceptable choice, so ask for it.
• No law requires a casket for cremation. A funeral home that offers cremation must tell you that a simpler container is available, and must have one.

Get it in writing. After you decide what you want, and before you pay, the funeral home must give you a written statement. It lists every item and service and the price of each. Check it. Remove anything you did not ask for.

If the San Mateo County coroner is involved, the coroner says the funeral can usually take place on the fourth day after the death was reported. The coroner does not provide funeral or cremation services, so you still choose a funeral home.

Can the county help if we cannot pay?

Both counties have an indigent cremation program, but they work very differently. It is a last option, and it has limits that may be hard to hear. Please read this part before you decide.

In Santa Clara County

The Medical Examiner Coroner's program is for a person who died with no money or property and no family. It is also for a family that has no money of its own to pay.

• Who applies: only the legal next of kin can fill out and turn in the paperwork. Mail it or bring it in person to the Medical Examiner Coroner's Office in San Jose. The forms are linked on the county's indigent cremation page. The page does not say whether this depends on where the person died or where they lived, so ask.
• How long: the county's review generally takes 30 days after it gets the papers. You will hear the decision by mail or phone.
• If there is money or property: the county denies the application when there are significant assets.
• What happens: the county first offers your loved one's body to the State of California's Willed Body Program. Ask the county what this means for your family. If the program does not accept the body, the county does a direct cremation. The ashes are held in a vault for six months, then scattered at sea, or at a scatter garden if requested.
• Please know: the ashes are not returned to the family.

There is also a time limit. The county says that if the legal next of kin does not bury the person, the coroner will go ahead with indigent cremation after 30 days. The page does not say when the 30 days start, so ask. The county also says the legal next of kin can be held financially responsible for the cost in a civil action.

For San Mateo County residents

San Mateo County's coroner has an indigent cremation process, but it is much narrower than Santa Clara County's. The county's instructions say:

• It is for a San Mateo County resident who has no legal next of kin living in California. If family in California is found, the law does not require the coroner to take the body, even if the family cannot pay.
• If the family lives outside California and says it cannot pay, each next of kin fills out a Financial Statement of Next of Kin form. This is not free. If found eligible, the county tells them the cost of the cremation, and all fees must be paid in full before the cremation happens.
• The application also needs a letter from the San Mateo County Public Administrator's Office.
• The person who signs gives up all rights to the ashes, and the ashes will not be kept where family can visit.
• If the person who died lived in another county, contact the coroner of that county.

The instructions are not dated. Call the Coroner's Office at (650) 312-5562 to ask what applies to your family.

What if a crime caused the death?

If your loved one died because of a crime, the California Victim Compensation Board (CalVCB) may help pay funeral and burial costs. Family members can apply. There is a cap on what it pays for funerals, and CalVCB pays only what other sources do not cover.

See Help from California Victim Compensation, even without papers for who can apply and how.

Can we send our loved one home to another country?

Yes, but it costs more, so call your country's consulate early, before you sign with a funeral home.

If your loved one was from Mexico: the Mexican government's guide says it may help pay for basic transport, and for embalming or cremation. The family has to show it cannot afford the cost. The money is paid to the company that does the work, not to the family. Contact the Mexican consulate nearest you and ask what papers they need. Mexico's guide for moving remains or ashes (in Spanish)

From another country: call that country's consulate and ask if it helps families send a body or ashes home. Ask the funeral home what it needs for travel papers.

Where else can we look for help?

• Your faith community. Your church, mosque or temple may be able to help with a service, meals or costs. It is fine to ask.
• Family and friends. Ask one person to collect gifts so you do not have to.
• 211 Bay Area. Dial 211 or text your zip code to 898211 to ask about other local help. See 211: free help finding local services.

Who can help?

These are public offices. Contact them to confirm what they offer and what you would need. Being listed here is not a referral or a promise of service.

• Santa Clara County Medical Examiner Coroner: indigent cremation in Santa Clara County. Ask whether it depends on where the person died or where they lived. mec.santaclaracounty.gov
• San Mateo County Coroner's Office: (650) 312-5562, on duty 24 hours a day. 225 37th Avenue, San Mateo. smcgov.org/coroner
• California Victim Compensation Board: funeral and burial help when a crime caused the death. victims.ca.gov
• Federal Trade Commission: your rights when you buy funeral services. The FTC Funeral Rule

Related questions

• Help from California Victim Compensation, even without papers
• Emotional support: where to start

There are ways to honor the person you love and keep the cost low. Ask the questions, take the help, and lean on the people who love you.