Coping with racism and anti immigrant hate

This page is general information, not legal or medical advice. Do Not Lose Hope is not a clinic, a law office or a crisis line.

Why does it hurt so much?

Because it is aimed at who you are. Your family, your language, your skin, your accent, the country you came from. That kind of attack does not stay outside you. It can follow you home and into your sleep.

You may feel:

• Angry, then tired of being angry
• Afraid to go certain places, or worried for your children
• Ashamed, even though you did nothing wrong
• On guard all the time, scanning every room
• Numb, or like you have to pretend it didn't bother you

All of that is a normal response to being targeted. It is not weakness. And when hateful words about immigrants are everywhere, in the news, online and in politics, the stress can build up even when nothing happens to you directly.

You have the right to feel safe. In California, immigration status, race, nationality and religion are among the traits protected from hate violence. You belong here as a person with dignity.

What can I do for myself today?

Pick one or two. Small steps count.

• Name it. Say to yourself or someone you trust, "That was racism," or "That was hate." Naming it puts the shame where it belongs: on the person who did it.
• Talk it through. Share what happened and how you feel with a trusted friend, family member, pastor or counselor.
• Find your people. Spend time with people who share your background or your values. A church group, a cultural group, a sports team, an online community you trust.
• Control what you can. Set limits on news and social media. Mute or block accounts that attack you. Choose which conversations you join.
• Look for balance. Follow some sources that bring you good news, art, music or faith.
• Care for your body. Sleep, food and movement help your mind handle stress. Aim for regular meals, some movement every day, and seven to nine hours of sleep.
• Remember your strength. You and your family have already gotten through hard things. Use the skills that worked before.

If fear hits hard in the moment, slow breathing and grounding can calm your body in a few minutes. See Simple grounding exercises.

What if I can't shake it?

Sometimes self care is not enough. Reach out for professional help if:

• You can't sleep, or you have nightmares about what happened
• You avoid school, work, church or the store because of fear
• You feel hopeless, or you are drinking or using drugs to cope
• Your child's behavior or school work has changed

Counseling can help with the stress and fear that come from racism. You can ask for a counselor who speaks your language or shares your background. Ask the county line or clinic what they offer. The lines below are for San Mateo and Santa Clara county residents; in another California county, find your county mental health plan's number on the DHCS county list.

• San Mateo County ACCESS Call Center: (800) 686-0101, TTY 711, 24/7. For residents with Medi-Cal or no insurance. Staff speak English, Spanish and Chinese, with free phone interpreters for other languages.
• Santa Clara County Behavioral Health Call Center: (800) 704-0900, press 1, 24/7 including holidays. For residents with Medi-Cal, Medicare or no insurance. Interpretation in all languages spoken in the county.
• Ravenswood Family Health Network counseling (East Palo Alto): for children and adults, and you can refer yourself. Call (650) 330-7400.
• California Peer Run Warm Line: call or text 855-600-9276, or chat on the website, to talk with a peer. It is not a crisis line. Hours are on the Warm Line page.

Worried that a counselor will share your information with immigration? Read Mental health care without fear and Will my therapist share my information with immigration?.

If you are thinking about suicide or hurting yourself, call or text 988 now. If someone is in danger right now, call 911.

How do I help my child after racism or hate?

Children notice race and bias early, and by about age 12 many already hold set beliefs. So talk early and often. The American Academy of Pediatrics suggests parents talk openly about race and bias, and model how to treat people who are different with respect.

When your child comes home hurt, here is what we suggest:

1. Listen first. Ask, "What happened?" and "How did that feel?" Let them finish.
2. Believe them. Don't brush it off or tell them to ignore it.
3. Say it clearly. "What they said was wrong. It is not true about you or our family."
4. Make a plan together. Who can they go to at school? What can they say or do if it happens again? Walking away and telling an adult is always a good choice.
5. Tell the school. Write to the teacher and the principal. Keep a copy.
6. Build pride. Share your family's story, language, food, music and faith. Pride is a shield.

Watch for signs that your child needs more help: stomachaches before school, not wanting to go, trouble sleeping, pulling away from friends, anger or sadness that lasts. See Where your child can get mental health help in California and When your teen is struggling.

What does a school have to do?

California law says public schools and programs that get state money may not discriminate based on nationality, race or ethnicity, religion and other protected traits, including immigration status.

Each school district must:

• Have a process to take and investigate complaints of discrimination, harassment, intimidation and bullying, with a timeline and a way to appeal
• Require staff who see an incident to step in right away when it is safe
• Protect the student and family from payback for complaining
• Keep the complainant's name private where appropriate

Ask the school office for its complaint form. Put your complaint in writing and keep a copy. See also Every child can go to public school.

How do I report hate in California?

Reporting is your choice. Some people report to get help, some to protect others, some to create a record. All are good reasons.

If there is danger now, or a crime like an assault, threat or vandalism: call 911. For something that already happened and is not an emergency, call your local police non emergency line.

California Civil Rights Department (CRD): CRD takes complaints about hate violence, threats, harassment and discrimination.

• File online at ccrs.calcivilrights.ca.gov. You can start the form and finish it later. An unfinished form is saved for 30 days.
• Call 800-884-1684, or California Relay 711. Email contact.center@calcivilrights.ca.gov.
• For interpretation, call or email CRD.
• Deadline: for most cases, file within one year of the last time you were harmed. For job cases, you have three years.
• CRD also offers free dispute resolution and community mediation services.

Outside California, or a federal civil rights problem: the U.S. Department of Justice Civil Rights Division takes reports online, by phone or by mail about discrimination at work, in housing, at school, in public places and by police. For hate crimes (violence or threats based on race, national origin, religion and other traits), DOJ says to contact the FBI. DOJ also says to call 911 or local police if anyone is in immediate danger. These are federal agencies, so if you are worried about your immigration situation, talk with a free legal clinic before you report.

The CA vs Hate line is closed. The state's CA vs Hate Resource Line stopped on July 1, 2026, because of state budget cuts. Older flyers and websites still list it. The state now says to call 911 in danger and 211 for local resources and referrals. 211 is not available in every California county.

At work: racism at work can be job discrimination. See Your rights at work.

For what the law protects and what you can ask a court for, see Your rights if you face hate violence or threats in California. Not sure if reporting could affect your immigration case? Talk with a free legal clinic first. See Free legal help in the Bay Area.

How do I keep a record?

A clear record helps whether you report today, next month or never.

• Write it down the same day: date, time, place, what was said or done, word for word if you can
• Names or descriptions of the people involved and any witnesses
• Screenshots of posts, messages or comments, with the date and the account name showing
• Photos of damage or graffiti before it is cleaned
• Any report numbers from police, school or CRD

Keep copies in a safe place. Don't write your immigration status on these notes.

Common questions

It was "just words." Does it count? Words can hurt as much as actions. Some hateful words are not crimes, but they can still break civil rights or school rules. Threats can be crimes. Write it down either way.

Will reporting put my family at risk with immigration? California's hate violence protections list immigration status as a protected trait. Still, every case is different. If you are worried, talk with a free legal clinic before you report.

Should I confront the person? Your safety comes first. Walking away is not losing. If you are safe and calm, a short firm sentence like "That's not okay" is enough. Don't argue with someone who is angry or threatening.

I feel guilty for not speaking up. You protected yourself. That was a choice too. You can still talk to someone about it now.

Who can help?

Contact them to confirm hours, languages and openings. Being listed here is not a referral or a promise of service.

• 211: free and confidential help finding local services in San Mateo, Santa Clara and many other California counties. Dial 211. See 211.
• California Civil Rights Department: 800-884-1684, Relay 711, ccrs.calcivilrights.ca.gov
• San Mateo County ACCESS Call Center (for county residents): (800) 686-0101, 24/7
• Santa Clara County Behavioral Health Call Center (for county residents): (800) 704-0900, press 1, 24/7
• U.S. Department of Justice Civil Rights Division: civilrights.justice.gov
• Ravenswood Family Health Network counseling: (650) 330-7400
• Community Legal Services in East Palo Alto: (650) 326-6440
• 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: call or text 988, or chat at 988lifeline.org

Is there a record sheet I can print?

Yes. Use one sheet for each incident.

Hate is loud, but it does not get the last word about who you are. You are made with dignity and worth, and you are not alone.