Signs of depression and anxiety in yourself or your family

This page is not medical advice or a diagnosis. Only a trained health professional can tell what is going on. Do Not Lose Hope is not a clinic or a crisis line.

Is this a hard season, or is it depression?

Sadness is part of life. So is worry. When something hard happens, like a job loss, a death, or fear for your family, it is normal to feel low or scared for a while. Those feelings usually ease with time, rest and support.

Depression is different. It is a real illness, and it can affect anyone, at any age, of any background or income. It changes how you feel, how you think and how you handle daily life. Anxiety becomes a problem when the worry does not go away, shows up in many situations, and grows over time.

Three questions help you tell the difference:

1. How long has it lasted? A few bad days is a hard season. Two weeks or more, most of the day, nearly every day, is a reason to get checked for depression.
2. How much does it get in the way? Missing work, not caring for the kids, not eating, or avoiding people you love are signs it is more than stress.
3. Is it getting better or worse? Feelings that keep growing need attention, even if the cause is real.

You can be living through something truly hard and also have depression or anxiety. One does not cancel the other. Both deserve care.

What are the signs of depression?

The National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH) lists these common signs. Not everyone has all of them.

How you feel

• Sad, anxious or "empty" most of the time
• Hopeless, or sure things will not get better
• Irritable, frustrated or restless
• Guilty, worthless or helpless

What changes in daily life

• Losing interest or joy in things you used to enjoy
• Feeling tired, low on energy or slowed down
• Trouble thinking, remembering or making decisions
• Trouble sleeping, waking too early, or sleeping too much
• Eating more or less than usual, or weight changes you did not plan
• Aches, pains, headaches, cramps or stomach problems with no clear cause, that do not get better with treatment

Other changes people around you may notice

• More anger, or a short temper
• Pulling away from family and friends
• Taking big risks, or acting on impulse
• Drinking or using drugs more
• Not keeping up with work, home or family duties

Thoughts of death or suicide. If you or someone you love has these thoughts, do not wait. Call or text 988 now. If a life is in danger right now, call 911.

To be diagnosed with depression, a person has signs most of the day, nearly every day, for at least two weeks. One of them must be a low mood or a loss of interest or joy in most activities. You do not need to wait two weeks to ask for help. If it already feels like too much, reach out now.

What are the signs of anxiety?

Worry is normal before a hard day in court, a job interview or a bill you cannot pay. Generalized anxiety disorder is worry that is hard to control and shows up about many everyday things, even when the worry is bigger than the situation. NIMH lists these signs:

• Worrying too much about everyday things
• Trouble controlling the worry or nervousness
• Feeling on edge or irritable often
• Feeling restless, or unable to relax
• Trouble concentrating
• Trouble falling asleep or staying asleep, or feeling tired
• Headaches, muscle aches, stomachaches or tension
• Trembling or twitching
• Sweating a lot, feeling lightheaded or out of breath
• Trouble swallowing
• Going to the bathroom often

To be diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder, a person finds it hard to control worry on most days for at least six months. Again, you do not need to wait that long. If worry is keeping you from sleeping, working or caring for your family, talk to someone now.

What does a panic attack feel like?

A panic attack is a sudden wave of intense fear with strong body signs. Your heart may pound or race. You may sweat, shake, have trouble breathing or feel chest pain. An attack can last a few minutes to an hour, sometimes longer.

For ways to calm your body when fear rises, see Simple grounding exercises to calm fear and stress.

Can depression and anxiety show up in the body?

Yes. For some people, the first signs are physical: a racing heart, a tight chest, headaches that keep coming back, or stomach trouble. Stress can also bring nightmares, skin rashes, and changes in appetite or energy.

Some medicines and health problems, such as thyroid problems or viruses, can cause the same signs as depression. That is one more reason to see a doctor. A checkup can rule out other causes.

What do these signs look like in children?

Children and teens show it differently. A sad child may look angry instead. The CDC says to watch for:

• Being sad, hopeless or irritable much of the time
• Not wanting to do fun things anymore
• Big changes in eating or sleeping
• Being tired and slow, or tense and restless, a lot of the time
• Trouble paying attention
• Feeling worthless or guilty
• Hurting themselves on purpose
• Being very afraid when away from parents, or of being around people
• Headaches, stomachaches or tiredness, and some children keep their worries to themselves

Federal experts recommend anxiety screening for children 8 to 18 and depression screening for teens 12 to 18. Ask your child's doctor about it at the next checkup. For where your child can get care, see Where your child can get mental health help in California. For teens, see When your teen is struggling.

What if I am worried about someone in my family?

You may notice it before they do. A husband who stops eating with the family. A mother who cannot sleep since a relative was detained. A grandparent who says, "What is the point?"

1. Pick a calm moment. Talk in private, without hurry.
2. Say what you see, without blame. "You have not seemed like yourself for a few weeks. I am worried about you."
3. Listen more than you talk. Do not argue with their feelings or tell them to just pray harder or be strong.
4. Offer one concrete step. "Can I call the clinic with you tomorrow?" Offer to go with them or sit with them while they call.
5. Check in again. One talk is rarely enough.

If they talk about dying, being a burden or not wanting to be here, ask them directly if they are thinking about suicide. Asking does not put the idea in their head. Then call or text 988 together. See How to talk with someone you love about suicide.

Caring for someone who is struggling is heavy. Your own feelings matter too. You can call or text 988 for support even when the person in trouble is someone else.

When should I get help?

Reach out to a doctor, clinic or your county line if:

• Several signs have lasted two weeks or more
• The signs get in the way of work, school, home or friendships
• You avoid things you need to do because of fear or worry
• You are drinking or using drugs to cope
• People who love you say they are worried

Get help right now if you or someone you love talks about suicide or self harm. Call or text 988. If a life is in danger right now, call 911.

What should I bring to the doctor?

It helps to write a few notes before your visit. A provider will likely ask when the signs began, how long they have lasted, how often they happen, and how they affect your life. Bring a family member or friend if that helps you feel safe. Ask for an interpreter in your language when you call.

Does treatment work?

Yes, for most people. NIMH says most people with depression benefit from treatment, and that with time and treatment, depression can lift. Treatment for depression and anxiety usually means talk therapy, medicine, or both. Finding what works can take some trial and error, and both therapy and medicine take time. Healthy habits help, but for anxiety disorders they cannot replace treatment.

Getting help early is a strong, loving choice, for you and for the people who count on you.

Questions people ask

Is depression a sign of weak faith? No. Depression is an illness, not a failure of faith or character. Prayer and your faith community can stand beside medical care, not in place of it. See When to talk to your pastor and when to see a counselor.

I have no insurance. Can I still get checked? Yes. Your county line serves people with no insurance and can tell you about cost. Health centers that get federal funds must offer a sliding fee based on income. See Mental health care without fear for costs and Medi-Cal in 2026.

Will they ask about my immigration status? In California, if a clinic learns your immigration status, the law treats it as private medical information. See Will my therapist share my information with immigration?

I still go to work every day. Can it still be depression? Yes. Many people keep working while they feel empty or afraid inside. Look at how you feel most days, not only whether you get through them.

Can I take a quick test online? A quiz can help you put words to what you feel. But a diagnosis comes from a health care provider, who can also check for other causes, like thyroid problems or a medicine you take. Take your answers to that visit.

Who can help

These are public programs, clinics and free lines. Contact them to confirm hours, languages and openings. Being listed here is not a referral or a promise of service.

• For San Mateo County residents: BHRS ACCESS Call Center, for people with Medi-Cal or no insurance. (800) 686-0101, 24 hours, TTY 711. Staff speak English, Spanish and Chinese, with free phone interpreters for other languages. smchealth.org
• For Santa Clara County residents: Behavioral Health Services Call Center, for people with Medi-Cal, Medicare or no insurance. (800) 704-0900, then press 1, 24 hours. bhsd.santaclaracounty.gov
• For East Palo Alto and nearby: Ravenswood Family Health Center, counseling for children and adults, by self referral or through your doctor. 1885 Bay Road, East Palo Alto. (650) 330-7400. ravenswoodfhn.org
• Other California counties: your county's mental health line is on the DHCS county list.
• Community health centers anywhere in the U.S.: Find a Health Center (HRSA)
• California Peer Run Warm Line: for anyone living in California who wants to talk, not for emergencies. Call or text 855-600-9276. Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday and Friday 7 a.m. to 11 p.m.; Thursday 8 a.m. to 10 p.m. Hours can change. mentalhealthsf.org
• 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: call or text 988, or chat at 988lifeline.org. Free and confidential, available 24/7/365. 988lifeline.org
• 211: free help finding other local services in many areas. In California, 211 does not cover every county, so check our 211 page for coverage.

You are not weak for feeling this way, and you are not alone. Help is real, and people get better. We are holding hope for you.