What to do right now if you or someone you love is thinking of suicide

Do Not Lose Hope is not a crisis line and cannot answer calls or messages. This page is not medical advice. It points you to people trained to help right now.

This page is about the next few minutes and tonight. To learn the signs, see Warning signs that someone may be thinking of suicide. For a longer, calmer talk, see How to talk with someone you love about suicide.

Is this an emergency right now?

The National Institute of Mental Health says to call 911 if there is an immediate life threatening situation (NIMH). We suggest you call 911 now if any of these are true:

• They have already hurt themselves.
• They took pills, poison, or something else that could harm them.
• They have a gun, a knife, or another way to hurt themselves in their hands or close by, and they say they will use it.
• They say they will do it now or tonight, and you cannot keep them safe.
• They are unconscious, cannot be woken up, or are having trouble breathing.

If you are not sure, call 911. It is better to call and be wrong than to wait.

If they swallowed something and are awake and breathing normally, you can also call Poison Control at 1-800-222-1222. It is free, open 24 hours a day, and offers interpreters in more than 200 languages. Poison Control says to call 911 right away if the person is unconscious or having trouble breathing.

What do I do in the next ten minutes?

If no one is hurt yet, you have time to act. Take a breath. Then do these things, in this order.

1. Stay with them. The National Institute of Mental Health says that if someone tells you they are going to kill themselves, do not leave them alone. If you must step away, ask another trusted person to sit with them.
2. Ask them straight out. Say: "Are you thinking about killing yourself?" Asking does not put the idea in their head. Studies show it does not increase suicidal thoughts or behavior.
3. Ask if they have a plan. "Do you know how you would do it? Do you have what you would use? When?" The answers tell you how urgent this is. A clear plan, a time, and access to a way to do it means call 911 or 988 right now.
4. Make the home safer. Put time and distance between them and anything they could use. See How do I make the home safer tonight?
5. Call or text 988 together. Sit next to them. Put the phone on speaker if they want. You can do the talking at first.
6. Do not keep it a secret. Do not promise to keep this between you. Bring in one more trusted adult tonight.

You do not have to fix their pain. Your job right now is to keep them safe and connect them to help.

What do I say?

Keep it short and calm. Your voice matters more than your words. Here are lines you can use.

• "I'm really glad you told me. I'm not going anywhere."
• "Are you thinking about killing yourself?"
• "You don't have to explain it all. I just want you safe tonight."
• "Can we call 988 together right now? I'll stay with you."
• "I love you too much to keep this a secret. Let's get help together."

Try not to argue, lecture or say "you have so much to live for." Listen for their own reasons to keep living, like a child, a pet, a plan for next week, or their faith, and help them hold on to those.

For a longer conversation after the danger passes, see How to talk with someone you love about suicide.

How do I make the home safer tonight?

Putting distance between a person and a deadly way to hurt themselves saves lives. The 988 Lifeline's #BeThe1To campaign says the goal is to put time and distance between the person and the method. The campaign also says the old idea that "they'll find a way anyway" often does not hold true when safety steps are in place.

• Guns. Move them out of the home if you can do it safely, for example to a trusted relative or friend. If they must stay, lock them up, store the ammunition apart, and keep the key or code away from the person.
• Medicines. Lock up prescription and over the counter pills. Keep only small amounts in the home. Do the same with alcohol if they have been drinking.
• Other things. If they named a way to hurt themselves, remove it or block access to it tonight.

California gun violence restraining order. If a family member, roommate, dating partner or someone who shares a child with the person owns guns and is a danger, you can ask a California court for a gun violence restraining order. Police can ask too. It orders the person not to have guns, ammunition or magazines for a time. A temporary order lasts until the court hearing. After the hearing, the court can make an order that lasts one to five years. Your local court's self help center can explain the forms. This is a court case, so ask a legal aid office first if immigration is a worry for anyone in the home. See Free legal help in the Bay Area.

What happens when we call 988?

You hear a short greeting with options: press 1 for veterans, press 2 for Spanish. Then hold music while you are connected. A counselor says hello and asks if you are safe. Then they listen and help you both make a plan for right now.

988 is free and confidential, and open 24/7/365. You can call for yourself or because you are worried about someone else. Counselors try to make a safety plan with you first. 988 says less than 2 percent of its calls involve emergency services, and more than half of those happen with the caller's OK.

For more on privacy, police and immigration worries, see Calling or texting 988: what happens, privacy, and when to call 911.

What should I say if I call 911?

San Mateo County Behavioral Health and Recovery Services gives this advice for a mental health 911 call:

• Start with: "I'm calling about a mental health emergency, and I'm asking for a CIT officer." CIT means crisis intervention trained.
• Say exactly what is happening now, and where the person is.
• Tell them about any weapons, threats or a suicide attempt.
• Share the person's mental health history, medicines, and whether they took drugs or alcohol.
• Ask if responders can come without lights or sirens.
• Stay on the phone until the dispatcher says you can hang up.

When responders arrive, stick to the facts of what you saw and heard. The county says the person may be placed on an involuntary hospital hold of up to 72 hours for evaluation and care. That can feel frightening. It is meant to keep them alive while they get help.

If fear of immigration is stopping you from calling, read Calling or texting 988. But if a life is in danger, call 911 now.

Can someone from the county come to us?

In San Mateo and Santa Clara counties, yes. Both have teams of crisis workers who can come to you, any hour. Elsewhere in California, mobile crisis care is a Medi-Cal benefit meant to be reachable 24/7; call your county's line from the DHCS county list or call 988 and ask what is available near you.

San Mateo County residents. Call the County Crisis Line, run by StarVista, at (650) 579-0350. It is open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week (county crisis resources, checked October 21, 2026). You can call for yourself, family or friends, and the county's April 2026 newsletter says the Mobile Crisis Response Team can come in person. In 2025 the county said its mobile response team is made up of behavioral health clinicians trained in de-escalation, and that they arrive in plain vehicles with no lights or sirens. It is an alternative to a law enforcement response. For children and youth up to age 25, the county lists the Youth S.O.S. team at the same number.

Santa Clara County residents. Call (800) 704-0900 and press 1, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. The county has Mobile Crisis Response Teams for adults 18 and older, and Mobile Response Stabilization Services for children and young adults ages 4 to 20. The county says you can also dial 988 from a local 408, 650 or 669 number.

Both counties say to call 911 for a life threatening emergency.

What if they are not with me?

If they are texting or calling you from somewhere else:

1. Keep talking with them. Ask where they are and who is nearby.
2. Ask them to call or text 988 while you stay on the line, or call 988 yourself for advice. 988 says you can reach out any time when a friend is struggling.
3. If they are in danger right now and you know where they are, call 911 and give the full address and city.
4. Call someone who can get to them fast, like a roommate, relative or neighbor.

What if it is me?

If you are thinking about ending your life, please reach out right now. Call or text 988, or chat at 988lifeline.org. You do not need the perfect words. "I'm not okay" is enough. Put some distance between you and anything you could use to hurt yourself, and go be near someone you trust.

If you are a teen, see Where a teen can talk to someone right now.

What comes after tonight?

The crisis may pass in hours. The pain often does not. Here is what helps next.

• Follow up. Call or text them tomorrow, and the day after. NIMH says ongoing, supportive contact can play an important role in preventing suicide.
• Make a safety plan together. A written plan lists warning signs, ways to cope, people to call and how to stay safe. NIMH says a plan like this can reduce the risk of acting on suicidal thoughts. See Make a safety plan for hard moments.
• Connect them to care. See Mental health care without fear. If there was an attempt, see Getting help after a suicide attempt.
• Take care of yourself. 988 notes that supporting someone can bring up hard feelings. You can call 988 for yourself too.

Questions people ask

Will asking about suicide make it worse? No. Research shows asking directly does not increase suicidal thoughts or behavior, and talking about it may reduce them.

They made me promise not to tell anyone. What do I do? Tell anyway. NIMH says not to promise to keep suicidal thoughts a secret. You can say: "I care about you too much to keep this to myself."

We don't speak much English. Can we still call? Yes. Dial 988 and press 2 for Spanish, or text AYUDA to 988. For other languages, call 988 and say the language you need. Interpreters are offered in more than 240 languages, by phone call only.

Does 988 cost money? No. 988 says using the Lifeline is free.

What if they are angry that I called? That is okay. Angry and alive is better than the alternative. You can say: "I know you're upset. I did it because I love you."

Should I call our pastor? Yes, as one more person to stand with you, after you have called 988 or 911. A pastor's support is a gift. In a crisis, also bring in people trained to keep them safe.

Is there a card I can keep?

Who can help

These are free crisis lines and county crisis teams. Contact them to confirm hours, languages and openings. Being listed here is not a referral or a promise of service.

• 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: call or text 988, or chat at 988lifeline.org. Free and confidential, 24/7/365. Spanish: dial 988 and then press 2, or text AYUDA to 988. 988lifeline.org
• San Mateo County Crisis Line, run by StarVista (for county residents): (650) 579-0350, 24 hours. smchealth.org
• Santa Clara County Behavioral Health crisis teams (for county residents): (800) 704-0900, press 1, 24/7. bhsd.santaclaracounty.gov
• California Poison Control System: 1-800-222-1222, 24/7. calpoison.org
• Teen Line, for teens up to 19: (800) 852-8336, 6 to 10 p.m. Pacific time. didihirsch.org/teenline

For which line fits other problems, like abuse or drugs, see Which helpline to call.

You did the hard thing by reading this and staying close. Hope is real, and help is one call away.